Brad's Funeral and The CPAP Experience

It's not often that one has what can be called a truly "Life Changing" experience. Some people would count the day they got married, the day their first child was born, or even the day they made peace with God. Well, Loyal Friends and True, I have officially had one of those experiences.

The day I got my CPAP machine was the day my life changed. And, after only three nights of sleeping with it, all I can say is "WOW!!" Actually, I can say a lot more because that wouldn't be much of a blog if all I could say was "WOW!!", but I digress. I've only had my machine for four days, and it's been an eye opening experience. Obtaining it, however, was an eye opening experience in itself. You see, I had to meet my aunt (who works in a pharmacy) at Bradley's funeral to get the machine.

Sweet Niblets, do I hate funeral homes. (And, yes, that was a Hannah Montana reference. Sue me.)

Top three places that I will go, but will ultimately loathe every second of it: hospitals, funeral homes, and Ryan's. Well, that third one is mostly self-loathing because, try as I might, I cannot deny Ryan's tasty tasty steaks.

I mean, it's not that I don't want to see any of my family or offer up my condolences. It's just that I never know what to say in those situations. Come to think of it, that's always been a flaw amongst my many flaws. I like to think I'm a nice enough guy, but I am no good at verbalizing my sympathy. Anyway, so, of course the bulk of my Mom's side of the family is there, so of course I've got to go in there and at least say hello to my Uncle Greg and see Brad for the last time. It just wouldn't be right if I didn't.

Craziest thing about viewing Bradley's body was that he was not as rotund as I had anticipated. In fact, dude looked to be maybe 250. I'm pretty sure I need to go no further than that. Dying from sleep apnea at 250 is shocking, at 400+ it becomes only slightly more likely.

Talk about a cure for any hang-ups I may have had regarding, say, discomfort of the mask, or how weird it feels to have air pumped into your nose. The mask goes on when I go to sleep and that mother trucker stays there till I get up. Which, by the way, is now about 6-8 hours later without any bathroom breaks. I can tell my body has some catching up to do as far as deep sleep goes.

Another great aspect is the energy I'm finding myself with. Used to be, I'd fall asleep at the drop of a hat, which is a pretty huge problem for a frequent movie-goer like myself. Hell, I couldn't tell you the finer points of that "Wolfman" remake that came out earlier this year. I also am notorious for dozing off in front of the TV during things I am genuinely interested in seeing. It's become a bit frustating as it has gone on.

These days, though, I don't even fall asleep in the work truck on long rides. I actually feel ready to attack the day when I get up in the morning. It is a welcome change from the sluggish rising and dozing off while checking my Facebook before I go to work. So good is the difference that I've taken to doing about Wii Boxing every couple days as a means of getting some exercise in. Fan-Tastic!

Well, that about does 'er for this edition of COOR. Check back this weekend because I actually plan on doing a Weekender this weekend. Should be fun.


  1. Hannah Montana? Really?


    What will I do with you?

  2. I'm glad the CPAP machine is helping you get some sleep buddy. I've had family with sleep apnea before and some of them refuse to get medical treatment for one reason or the other. I'm glad you're not that stupid.

  3. Gimme a P. Gimme an R. Gimme an O. Gimme a Y. Whats that spell??? P. Roy!!!!! GOOOOOOOOO P. Roy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wooooooooooooo! I'm glad this is going well for you, and I am proud of you. In 6 months you'll be rocking the karaoke like the true rockstar you are!!!!