The First Cut is the Deepest

     As far back as I can remember, I've always been a big guy. My Mom will tell you that I started gaining weight after I got my tonsils out, which was, indeed, a loooong time ago. Ever since then, I've forged a love-hate relationship with food and eating. On one hand I love to eat. I love to try new foods and recipes, and I can definitely appreciate a good cook. The problem with that is that I have a long and not-so-great track record when it comes to making healthy choices.
      In grade school it was eating some of the other kids' lunch portions. In High School it turned into second helpings from Football-Booster Lunch Ladies. Beyond that lies a road paved with Ramen Noodles, Whole Pizzas, Oversized Portions, and soda, way too much soda. For a while I had what you could maybe call a good handle on my weight. By "Good Handle" I mean that, while it may not have been a healthy weight, at least it stayed coinsistent.
     Something has gone a bit haywire over the course of the last two years, though.  My weight has increased significantly and my health and life are suffering as a result. Be it from my own negligence or by dumb luck, I find myself at a crossroads that more and more Americans my age are finding themselves.
     So, I'm presented with 2 choices: A.) Lose the weight, thereby leading to a healthier lifestyle and better quality of life or B.) Die. Trust me, I hate to be that blunt about it, but facts are facts. If I don't make significant changes to my life, I will not see the age of 30. Trust me, I'm as concerned as you are, which is why the only option is option A. A lot of you might see that as a bit morbid, but I made a promise to myself that this blog, while being funny and informative, would also be an honest, no-bullshit look at changing a lifestyle that is in serious need of changing. Sugar-coating is what got me here.
     So, what am I up against? A trip to the doctor last week revealed some alarming facts about me. Here now, is the rundown of that visit: My recorded weight on that visit was 405 pounds. Let me repeat that. 405 pounds. That's two people. That's 3 B-List actresses. Hell, that's 4 A-Listers! To put it in Lehman's Terms: "That's a lot of ass." 405 pounds means the rest of the story is not pretty. I now have Type 2 Diabetes, High Blood Pressure, and Sleep Apnea.
     The good news, however, is that all of these ailments are conquerable. Through hard work on my end, and a few medical buffs on the Dr.'s end, I am confident we will kick all of these in the ass. How will this figurative ass be kicked, you may very well ask? Well, I will tell you.
   The three key methods to getting where I need to be are as follows:


1.) Taking care of the sleep apnea. I've got a sleep study scheduled for August 17-18 to determine exactly how severe a case I have. The one thing that is for sure is that I will be sleeping with what is called a CPAP machine, which will open up the airways while I sleep, allowing for better breathing, and, in turn, better sleep. With better sleep comes more energy, and an increased metabolism. Two big pluses there.

2.) Getting my blood pressure in control. I am currently on medication to regulate it, and the Doc tells me that this particular med will contribute to my metabolism some as well.

3.)As far as the diabetes goes, it's kind of a "Wait and See" situation. Seeing as how my "Diabeetus" is almost exclusively tied to my obesity, simple weight loss and a good diet will certainly stop this train.

I'm adding a 4th element as well:

4.) This blog. Now, I know what you're thinking. You as well as I know that weight loss blogs are a dime a dozen, and why should you care about what I'm doing to rectify certain inconsistencies in my life. Well, first of all, this blog is a "No Dickwad Zone," so take your ill-will and nay-saying elsewhere, Bucko. Secondly, I plan on including Movie and Music reviews, weird Internetty things, and general musings on whatever to keep things fresh. This is a blog about ME, so to just write about the weight loss would just be wrong.

So, anyway, that about does it for the ole first entry. My friend Casey, who is also doing a weight loss blog, found a neat motivational quote to end his first entry. Not to be outdone, I have a bit of Inspirado to lay upon your eyes as well:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Until next time, keep your unit on you.